I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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