some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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