Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
