I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
