I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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