I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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