ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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