He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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