Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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