Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
