Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
