At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
