he shaved USA in his pubs
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This is classic penis vs brain.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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