Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

He has such a weird drunk-voice.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

dude, he's deaf.

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(213): View more from California

those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later

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(816): View more from Missouri

you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my sombrero is too big for the bathroom

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(347): View more from New York

she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.

(1-347): View more from New York

ofcourse you didnt.

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(440): View more from Ohio

i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.

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(518): View more from New York

I can feel the alcohol in my calves

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(612): View more from Minnesota

having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi

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