Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
