I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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