My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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