I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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