there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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