Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
