so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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