The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
