this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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