So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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