yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
