i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
