can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
