i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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