Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm passing your future prison.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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