We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
