whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I want a musical about memes.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
