i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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