this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
