did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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