these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
