at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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