3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he thought i was a dude.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
