sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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