I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
