I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
