Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
