we're blogging at a bar
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
