brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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