how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
