You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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