My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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