omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
