Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My bed smells like the plague
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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