so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
