No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
