I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
