is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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