I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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